Maire Fisher

The ballad of the well-planned wedding

Planning a wedding’s not easy
as the mother of the bride will attest.
And when ghosts from the past have to be asked,
they’re usually awkward guests.
They’re usually awkward guests, they are –
they’re usually awkward guests.

But this is the story of Daphna,
a sweetly formidable dame,
who with gentle aplomb, as the bride’s mom
saw to the groom’s erstwhile flame.
She saw to the groom’s erstwhile flame, oh ho!
She saw to the groom’s erstwhile flame.

But let us not leap to the ending
of the tale that is now to be told.
Let’s go to the venue, and add to the menu
the story about to unfold …
The story’s about to unfold,  indeed –
the story’s about to unfold …

The wedding hall lay ready
with tables swathed in white.
The band’s sweet tune soon filled the room
with ‘Here comes the bride’.
‘Here comes the bride’, they played
‘Here comes the bride’.

At table three sat Cheri,
(once sweetheart of the groom)
Dressed to kill, her breasts aspill,
a rose just past her bloom.
A rose just past her bloom she was,
a rose just past her bloom.

To the left of her was Katherine
and her gorgeous husband Miles. 
What a hunk, thought Cheri, and artfully she
lavished her sexy smiles.
She lavished her sexy smiles, oh yes!
She lavished her sexy smiles.

Though Katherine was used to such conduct
Cheri’s was both blatant and bold.
Like a cat at the cream, she purred and she preened,
flashed her wares for all to behold.
Flashed her wares for all to behold – that minx! – 
flashed her wares for all to behold.

But then Daphna arrived at their table
to chat with her friends Miles and Kate,
and also to say, in the nicest of ways
that Cheri would soon meet her fate.
Yes Cheri would soon meet her fate, she would –
Cheri would soon meet her fate.

She said she’d arranged the seating
and simply had to invite
the sweetest of men, and a good friend of Ben’s,
to be Cheri’s swain for the night.
To be Cheri’s swain for the night, he was
to be Cheri’s swain for the night.

He arrived, red-headed, gangly,
skinny and terribly shy.
Katherine smothered a grin at Cheri’s chagrin
but Cheri could not  summon a smile.
Cheri could not summon smile, oh no …
Cheri could not summon a smile.
 

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